Oh, the life of a mom of 2. Now, it was a particulary rough day considering Andrew didn't take a nap and I was single mommying it considering Ryan performed a wedding and then preached at 5 pm. Needless to say, a 2 year old who misses his 2 1/2 to 3 hour nap is not pretty. I attemped to put Andrew down for his nap for about 2 hours and then gave up because I was exhausted and it wasn't fair for Kyle to have so much crying and fussing. Then, we attempted to go to 5 o'clock church because that is what we planned on doing...well, our plans changed. We were all dressed, Kyle was in the car (crying) and Andrew threw a fit. For once I was smart enough to not push my luck. We walked to the pond because being in the house was not working...well it worked for awhile. When Daddy got home, Ryan took Andrew for a 30 minute ride and he finally fell asleep. We both needed it. Ryan and I (and Kyle) had dinner and then we rented a movie...oh my...we haven't sat and watched a movie just us two in about 3 or 4 months (Way too long). It was so nice and we agreeded to do it more. As we were cuddling after a long day I asked Ryan..."do I yell too much?"
So, I am feeling a little guilty tonight...did I yell at Andrew too much? I love Andrew so much, but it was just a rough day. Should I have been more forgiving considering he was over tired? Should I expect a 2 year old to always obey me? I am struggling because I want to be a the best Mom that Andrew and Kyle can be, yet I know that there is no magical answer. Although, many of my prayers lately have asked God for WISDOM!!! And tonight I am going to sleep, knowing that Andrew won't remember this day and that he will bounce back and that every day for me is a learning experience.
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Oh, Kristy! You ARE the best mom you can be! Every single one of us has days like this. But what really counts are all the other days when you love them and hug them and kiss them and pray with them and push them on the swings and sing and dance and read and make Play-Doh snakes and eat apples and color and play with trucks and blocks. THOSE are the things they'll remember. And yelling? Maybe they'll learn that none of us is perfect, that we're all in need of patience and wisdom. And they'll be more accepting of themselves than we are!
Sometimes it's a daily - or even hourly - battle for me. The more hectic it gets, the greater the struggle. Having young children doesn't often bring out the best in me but it definitely shows me where God wants to do some work in me! Maya, my happy girl, is quick to mention now when I'm acting upset, "Mommy, maybe you should go do Turbo Jam," which is a work out video I do at home. The girls always notice I'm in a much better mood after I work out. Ah, the bluntness of kids - very helpful though! Two is a very hard age - from about 18 months and on for all our girls. It's an amazing age with all they learn to do and all the exploring and growth that happens. But at the same time it's like they woke up and are this completely different being! You'd think by #4, I'd have this whole patience thing down by now but there are so many days I don't; soooo many, and go to bed feeling defeated. But God's mercies are new every morning and you learn to try again. JL and I have designated a "crabby mug" that either of us can give each other any time they deem necessary. No words necessary, and it immediately takes away much of the anger. It's a mug with a big fat pig on it and I often give it to myself during my crazy days. It helps!
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